Pregnancies can be a new territory for women, more so for men. A lot of men feel like they are looking through a glass window because they are never really able to understand what their partners are going through. A supportive man will do everything they can to understand and be in the moment with their expectant partner.
In the previous post, we learned from 7 amazing women who shared the support they received or wished to have received during their pregnancies. However, I felt it was important to also give men the limelight to share their own experiences and how they ensured they were supported during that beautiful time.
How can Men be more Supportive to their Pregnant Partners?
Our pregnancy journey was such a beautiful experience, it was God’s opportunity to show us how he feels about us. In our pregnancy, I at every opportunity served my wife and met her needs to the capacity I had. Everything I did, well most of it, came from a place of love, joy, and fulfillment.
I cooked most of the meals during the pregnancy. I safeguarded our safety, I endured and had to learn the power of the human body that my wife had. I felt privileged enough to understand that what she was going through was new to her and I had to accommodate that. But more so, it was also a learning opportunity for me.
The greatest feeling of all was knowing that my wife trusted me, and trusted us to undergo the pregnancy. She trusted us and the grace upon us to bring such a beautiful life into this world. And I would do it all over again and again.
P.S. For some time, all we ate was Hungarian sausages and pork. After a while during the pregnancy, I had to learn to cook nsima. Each time I was home, I would cook her nsima. Now, I feel I can cook nsima for the whole nation lol.
When my wife and I found out we were expecting, the most important skill I learned was to become an attentive listener and observer. Throughout our first pregnancy, we encountered many unknowns.
For any man in this situation, being present, observant, and attentive to what your partner is experiencing is crucial. Avoid offering help that is not needed. There were times I wanted to do something, but if my wife was not in the mood, I learned to step back and respect her feelings.
It’s a mentally challenging time for both partners, but as a husband, your role is to be there for her. Listen, watch, and provide support when she expresses the need for it.
Parenthood is a beautiful thing when both parties are involved, and involvement starts as early as conception. Imagine working and getting your paycheck, and so is parenthood which is one-sided. Pregnancy is the foundation of parenthood; a healthy wife breeds a healthy baby, and if you want your baby born healthy, then get your partner on a healthy diet.
As a man, you can support your pregnant partner emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Get her some health supplements to boost her immune system, and pack her with the nutrients necessary for your unborn baby. If you are spiritual, it is important to also pray for and with her, while also encouraging her on the journey she is on. Escort her to the prenatal clinic, and buy her gifts. In doing so, you are not only helping her but also easing yourself from unnecessary mental and physical stress.
Supporting your partner goes way beyond what we can imagine. Our partners need us way more than just being around in the marriage. So take a day off and escort your partner to the clinic for her prenatal visit. You will thank me later.
Men react differently when they learn about an impending pregnancy. Usually, this depends on individuals’ personalities, situations, types of relationships, and other socioeconomic elements. Among the numerous feelings that can be expressed in reaction to the news are joy, excitement, anxiety, surprise, denial, protectiveness, and celebration.
When I first heard the news of my wife’s pregnancy, honestly I had mixed feelings. On one hand, I was ecstatic and over the moon that I was going to be a dad. I have always been fascinated by kids and I couldn’t wait to begin that new chapter in my life. On the other hand, I had lots of fears and anxieties and so many questions kept running through my head. Was I ready to be a dad? Would I be able to support my wife fully during her pregnancy? Will the pregnancy be smooth? Will I be able to handle all the changes that happen including mood swings?
As much as I considered myself adequately learning on the topic, it was still a trying period but my biggest concern was on the mother-to-be. The news about becoming a father caused me to reevaluate so many things and I evolve on a personal level. I had to start thinking about accepting new duties, reevaluating my goals, and adopting healthier lifestyle choices to establish a secure atmosphere for our expanding family. I should admit that these sessions differed greatly over time and across the trimesters. One thing I was very much committed to undertaking was to be there for my wife and my kid to come.
Much as I was impacted by the news, I had to keep in mind that the pregnancy would have a much greater impact on my wife. Women undergo complicated, life-changing changes throughout pregnancy that impact them socially, emotionally, and physically. Pregnancy can have different effects on different women and even on different pregnancies. Therefore, my emotional, physical, and social support needed to become essential in assisting my wife in adjusting to the bodily and psychological changes brought on by her pregnancy. There are several ways I made sure that I played my part during the pregnancy and here are some ways I undertook to manage this phase:
- I am the one who handles every household chore effortlessly and have been doing that since our marriage but I had to take on more chores than usual, to give her time to rest.
- I am the one who doesn’t usually open up to people but I had to talk honestly with my wife about my thoughts, worries, and plans. I had to pay special attention to her plans, worries, and anxieties as well so that we were on the same page. Choices like where she had to give birth, types of items to buy, etc. had to be dealt with between the both of us.
- We made plans together for the growing family, but we also maintained flexibility so that any eventuality would easily be mitigated at all times.
- I had to develop my compromising skills as I experienced various emotional waves. These emotional changes among women during pregnancy are common and nothing strange but it was important for me to understand those changes.
- I made sure that she felt at ease and safe in the home.
- I spoke to some of my female friends for advice and guidance. One friend, Linda Maliro was very supportive and helpful in this time. Shout out, Linda!
- I tried my level best to give her lots of love, affection, and praise, and have an optimistic attitude toward her.
- I always went with her to all check-ups and medical appointments.
- I read a lot about pregnancies, their stages and phases, the developmental stages of the fetus, and anything to do with pregnancy care and management.
- I made sure that she had all her nutritional needs covered.
- Most importantly, I made sure that despite my busy schedule, I was always there for support, company, and comfort.
Each man may respond differently to news of pregnancy. What is important is to assure the woman that she is not alone and that you are there to support her fully. That will go a long way to ensure that the pregnancy is tolerable, a time of growth in the relationship, and the experiences memorable. It is okay to have anxieties and questions. Even those who have had numerous pregnancies learn new things every time they experience one. It is a learning process for both parents and men, please make sure that you are there for your woman. It is a beautiful experience when done together in love and tenderness.
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