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My beloved baby,
Well, you are not a baby anymore, and you would remind me this if you were capable of reading. Happy birthday Manuel, like I have told you, we have unlocked level 3 of life now.
If this space of mine is still here when you are older, I need you to read it. Do this while listening to a very specific song. It is the song that I am listening to while I write this letter. You think it a lame song in the year you stumble on this. I have no idea what kind of music you will be into. I hope you understand the message in the song. Know that this is how I will forever feel about you.
Three years of knowing you, how life has passed by so quickly. I still remember the first time I laid my eyes on you, and instantly knew you had my whole heart. I have never instantly fallen in love with any human, until you came around. You brought into my life a new meaning, brought a new purpose, and a level of completion.
I still get mesmerized with your beauty when you sleep, even as you grow older. It feels just like when you were born. The serenity of your face brings peace to my life, even on days when I feel lost. Like your grandma always laments, “God knew there was something missing in our lives. You came along, and all seemed to be in place.”
The past year has been a roller-coaster. My darling, the independence you have gained over the past months has shaken me to the core. I learned that since your birth, I had deeply attached myself to you. Your gaining independence almost felt like you were leaving me behind. Meanwhile, I stayed in my comfort zone.
P.S, I am still learning to let you go and be your own human.
Also kid, you have such a beautiful smile. I love how your eyes beam each time you smile!
What has been the most lovely thing to watch is your personality. You are such an extroverted human, quite the opposite of how I am sometimes. It is insane how quickly you are able to make friends, and how bubbly you are around your peers. We still need to learn to share toys. I am sure in this new year, you will get better at it.
Your connection to your grandma has grown immensely over the past year. You two are like twins born in different years. You have shown me that the woman who is my mother is literally different from the person you call agogo. You guys are, and I say this worriedly, connected to the hip. Sometimes, you speak just like her and it scares me.
Something I am very proud of, how quickly you learned to ride your bike. I remember the day so clearly. We were all seated and watching you. You rode around the house while being pushed by Buddha. Then he slowly let go, and there you were riding. You took a few minutes to realize he had let go. For a split moment, I saw fear in your eyes. But just as quickly, it was gone and replaced with determination. I hate that I never caught that moment on camera, but it is engraved in my memory.
I have also learned that I am overly protective of you. I feel safe when you are next to me. In a way, I have also noticed how protective of me you are. You have hugged me so many times when you’ve seen me get hurt. You’ve also cried when you’ve thought you’ve hurt me. I know this is how you show your love to me, and I love you more for it.
Lastly, the past year has seen me more thankful for those that have fallen in love with you. I appreciate how you have opened your heart and loved them back.
Like the song says, I will love you and protect you at all cost. I will continue keeping you safe at all cost.
Happy birthday my little love.
Read the other open letters:
A Letter to my Son on His First Birthday
Open Letter to Evan on his 2nd Birthday