My birthday is just a few days away, and again, I am not ecstatic about it. To be fair, I am never too excited to anyone’s birthday, but mine depresses me. IT DEPRESSES ME ALOT! To lay some evidence to that, this February has been tough for me. Going through my writer’s block and mostly just feeling lost. Only thing that kept me going was sharing some nice pictures on instagram and other things. Wink! However, it has been like most of my Februaries that have past. To help me feel better, thought to share with you the reasons why I have grown to hate my birthday.
Why I have grown to hate my birthday…. Well, there are a couple of reasons that kick me, and maybe I am just too much. But, I have grown to realise that the older I grow, the more annoying some things come to be. Like I have said, this year has been the worst. More so because I am itching to my 25th and I am dreading it.
The past years, I was better. I would publish poetry collections as a gift to myself. But this year, I have been so irritable that even that idea of it annoyed me. Yeah, that is how deep that hate runs now.
why I have grown to hate my birthday
1. The African ‘when will we meet our in-law’
I am turning 24 this year, becoming more eligible for marriage in the eyes of my African uncles and aunts. The older I get, the more the question “So, when will we meet our in-law” pops up. Sometimes, it is said in a jokey manner, but one can always tell that they really are being serious. Now, if you follow this blog or any one of my social media accounts, you must know that I despise marriage. Not that if I was dating someone seriously then I would not show them to my family. But, that would lead to the marriage question. Which just seems not to be in my cards currently. Or ever.
2. The constant comparison with agemates
If you compare me with a blogger or another content creator, I will feel honored. However, there is something about being compared with friends or cousins who are the same age as I am. To make it worse, to show that they are definitely doing way better than I am. Here is the thing, I am a firm believer that everyone has a different path from mine. Our success stories are going to be different. However, for someone to actively put me down by comparing me to others is just a no from me.
The worst is when you are told that “people your age have kids” while “you seem to be so involved in doing things that are not beneficial.” Big low.
3. When your efforts seem to be falling on terrible soil
This is perhaps the biggest reason why I have grown to hate my birthday. Every year, you are constantly reminded that days are passing by but your efforts are falling infertile soil. And this is how I feel all the time. I feel like I am stuck, like nothing is moving.
And maybe I project way too much, but one cannot stop but wonder if it is ever worth it.
4. The one day love I get
Weird, I know. But everyday, I see birthday messages that I clinch to. So many “I love yous” are poured, which I often know is not true. In fact, my birthday wish this year is to just switch off my phone for the whole day, then get back to technology when the comedy show is over.
Not that I do not appreciate the messages, but I hate the lies they are laced with. Those from my family and close friends, I cherish. The rest, just unnecessary noise to deal with.
5. Unthoughtful gifts
I find it offensive when people have to ask me what they should gift me. Or gifts that seem to have no special thoughts attached to them. If you are to gift me, know me well and what I would truly like and appreciate. It just makes things way better.
But, that is mostly never the case. Which again makes me hate the day so much.
Here is the thing, I do not like the day at all. And probably, it will change one day. Also, do not fricking send me that “Happy womb escape day” cause I will find you and give you a huge slap. The best thing to do on the day is just sleep and drink. And that, my fair ladies and gentlemen, is why I have grown to hate my birthday.