I have been single for close to 3 years now, and although it is fun and amazing and has allowed me to learn a lot about myself, it is damaging as well. But sometimes, someone that has been single for too long might not want to get in the dating scene, here are the reasons why:
We like being in control of our own life and time
I have learned this during the past few months; this is one of the actual reasons why I wouldn’t want to be with someone. I love that I can control everything around me, my time etc. It gives me headaches that if I was with someone, I would have to start sacrificing some of that control and invest too much attention to them than just me.
Scared of Falling in Love
Being in control of your life also brings in the control of your emotions. And mostly, we get scared of falling in love, because all we see is the downfall of everything we can taste than the actual beauty we can find. So, as a way of securing our hearts, we choose to stay away from people we know can make us happy.
We Mostly Look for Our Exes in Other People
You might be disagreeing, but honestly think about it, how many times have you thought about the type of guy/girl you would date and realize you might actually just be describing your ex? It isn’t a taboo, we do it often. But, it is the most damaging trait there is, we make it hard for others to get in our lives due to our hold on our pasts.
We Notice A lot of Damages in Other People’s Relationships
I currently have 4 friends I know that are cheating on their partners, they do it with no remorse and no care as to how heartbreaking that is. I guess, we notice all this problems taking place in the relationships around us that we lose interest to find love.
There is just this freedom laced with being single, however, sometimes these are the issues that come with being single for so long:
Haste to Get in a Relationship
Ever just panicked about how long it has been since you were last in a relationship? Ever missed just going out on a date, cuddling, being silly with someone? Yes, that happens when you have been single for quite some time. You become anxious which leads to being in haste to find someone, which could lead to finding someone so wrong.
You Become Bitter
I often find myself putting a timeline on my friend’s relationships, just because I feel they are making the worst mistakes of their lives.
It Tests your Self-Confidence
You might start wondering what is wrong with you. You start second guessing yourself and start wondering if there is anyone out there for you. These are really trying times.
You Fantasize a lot about Your Future Relationship
You forget that life doesn’t move like we fantasize it to be, and so those fantasies ruin more than you can imagine, because then you realize no one lives to those absurd standards.
Mind you, there is no problem with being single for so long, in fact it is the most liberating thing you can find. However, to those looking to date people that have been single for God knows how long, you need to have the most patience and understanding. They are trying to break their norms and values to be with you, do not rush them. Be that pillar of surety.