It hasn’t been so long ago since we last met, that is if you read my last collection.
Now welcome to SCRIBBLES, a not so much poetry collection, in fact not poetry at all. These are just words patched together in different moments of my life.
Let me take this moment to thank my old books that have contained these words for so long. Enjoy. xx
SCRIBBLES
Sleeping Paralysis
I woke in the middle of the night
Eyes glued to the ceiling
Body unmoving
Panicking
I wondered,
Is this how death feels like?
Alive
A bundle of joy
Her precious smile
I saw it fade
She closed her eyes
I cried
I realised
I didn’t love her as much
When she was alive
Him
He knows not how I feel
I am scared to tell him
Scared he might leave
Scared he feels different
But his eyes make me feel at home
His chest is my resting bed
So while I have this moment
Let me bask freely in his presence
Flowers
A beauty to the eye
When the colours pop
A nuisance when they start to die
We easily forget the fresh air they brought
The scents in the sky
Until when autumn comes again
PTSD
A fast car
Rolling around in the tarmac so easily
Until the bend
It started to fly like a bird
So freely
Their eyes were popping
A beautiful fear shining bright
It rolls once
Then twice
The crowd mesmerized by the scene
Until the show stopped
Their bodies bruised
Dead eyes filled with fear
They haunt me in my sleep
Baby
The stick showed two lines
So I cannot wait for your two brown eyes
Two tiny hands
Two tiny feet
Two full lips like your mummy
I am counting down to the days
Waiting to meet my flesh
I cannot wait to meet you
My baby
Colours
While they bleach, wanting a vanilla
Some tan, wanting a chocolate one
But to my black sisters
Love your melanin skin
Imagine the comedy in appreciating inner beauty
When your face is a Beyonce
And your feet like Lupita
Minibuses
The warmth in June
Cuddling each other
The heat in October
Bathing each other in sweat
Four people on each seat
The lovely minibuses
When I Die
When I die
I do not expect you to stand on my grave
With red eyes
And tears streaming on your face
I do not expect you to ask my grave questions
The “Why nows?
I do not want to hear you say you love me
I needed your love when my lungs were still filled with air
When I die
Do not give me an inch of your time
I needed it when my eyes could still see the time
Friends
Partners in crime
Sisters at heart
So when she says
“I love you”
I feel right at home
God
I am still trying to find the truth
To learn my own beliefs
Not those that have been shoved under my throat
I am still trying to find the church
That speaks to me and the truth of you
Although that seems to be hard
I know one day I shall find
But for now,
I meet you on the floor of my room
My head bowed
Ready to praise your name
You
I respect that someone else loves you
But I can’t let you go
So I’ll hold on a little longer
Until I can find the strength to kiss you goodbye
Summer
The sun smiling
Kissing my skin
A cold drink
Soothing its way down
Beautiful music
It is summer time
Life gets better
Illusions
I am sorry
if I gave you the impression
That I liked you
You were just there
When I needed someone
Just not the person for me
I am sorry
If I wasted your time
Just for me to shut this door
Right in your face
Thoughts
Your thoughts are grey
You see no light in your prison
You see death
You see pain
You see suffering
But before you lay that knife on your beautiful skin
Know that you can make it out alive
All you have to do is fight the demons
Papers
My desk has a million papers
They all crave my love
All crave my attention
Building anxiety within me
Love Me Again
You loved me once
I messed up
But I was wondering,
Could you please love me again?
To start afresh
Forget the pain I made you endure
To create more memories
To be happy and free
So I ask again,
Could you please love me again?
Thank you again for reading. You are such a blessing.
Be kind and give me feedback.
With so much love,
Louisa!
