By Ronnie Claude Msowoya
One day, on a windy April evening I sat in on my single bed staring into nothingness, exhausted from the usual basketball trainings. It was one of the many days that I had felt like the relationship was not even worth it. I had asked myself if I was even in love in the first place and that question had stemmed into me trying to decipher what love itself actually is.
We are in a generation that does not really comprehend what love is or what it is all about. For others, it is about taking cute pictures, going out on dates and just having the feeling of belonging to someone. That was me last year, there was this one girl that a lot of the people I knew usually would talk about, and hearing about her always gave me the urge to want to get to know her. My brother hooked me up with her and we kicked it off with a fast start but before a month had even gone past it all went down to dust. I had realized too late that she was more of a prize than a lover, I never dated her because I liked her, rather because other people viewed her as a class above. I figured I am not the only one who goes through this, we date people just for the image of it and the initial attraction that we all mistake for ‘love at first sight’. Maybe love at first sight is just infatuation after all.
Infatuation and love are just the evil twin and the good twin with obsession as their younger sister; they are all offsprings of ‘Care, Jealousy and Lust’. When it comes to love, infatuation and obsession, it would not be wrong to say there is an element of care, jealousy and lust in each of them but what matters are the proportions. When the jealousy overpowers the lust and the care it usually leads to obsession, people get to the stage where they actually stalk a person just because they do not want anyone else making that particular person happy. When the lust overpowers the jealousy and the care it often amounts to infatuation, because 5 or 6 orgasms into the relationship the feelings start to fade away. Love is when the care overpowers the other two, love usually comes with immense care, to the point that at times one is willing to sacrifice their own happiness to just make sure their loved one is happy.
It is hard to definitely say for sure what love is because the feeling differs as per individual, but one thing that can be said for sure is that it is a beautiful thing if you click with the right person. So do not chase love, it will find you in the most unexpected ways, if you feel you are not ready you are free to cheat away and explore until you find what is comfortable for you, what suits you. These are just thoughts of a dude in his early 20s.I know my view on love is bound to change sooner or later, but love brings more heartaches than joy, but the few joyful moments it brings are so immense they make up for all the stress.