by Aida Mkandawire
Dating world is tough, you often meet different kinds of stories with overwhelming stories and experiences. We all know that the art of dating is unpredictable, it just happens for other people and well for some its tragic experience which lender them hopeless. Anyways, today I have to talk about dating/starting a relationship with someone who has a kid from their previous relationship be it a marriage or other scenarios.
First of all I would like to say it’s quite tough, you have to look at factors like is the kid going to like you, or is the other parent going to be happy with the relationship, do they have other unresolved issues and most importantly if the ending part of their relationship was peaceful or if they had a lot of issues. It’s quite tricky so to say if the other parent is immature (that’s the term I will use) they will never live to see the relationship flourish. They will do everything in their power to sabotage you by either harassing you on social media to sending you death threats (am not even exaggerating) and subject you to all forms of cyber bullying or even attempt to extort you just to make you go away.
While I would not recommend, here are some things you should consider if you get in that kind of relationship.
- Kid should always come first
Now ladies/gentlemen while you are in an important relationship with the person who has a kid, do not let them neglect spending time with their kid because you want to be given more attention. In fact, you can support them in spending time with their kid and providing for their kid, you would also get a certain closeness with their kid that will be good for both of you since you will be in each other’s life.
- Always respect the other parent
You may have problems with the other parent whatsoever but when you are in the presence of the kid, don’t bad mouth the other parent because the kid needs to have a good picture of both parents. Remember you can be there for the child and love them but the goal is not to replace the biological parent because they are part of the kid.
- You don’t get to make decisions about the kid
Now you may be living with your partner and the kid or not if issues rise it’s better for you to show your support from a distance, give them your insights if you must but don’t undermine the biological parents decisions. Keep your thoughts to yourself if it’s accusatory, insensitive and uncalled for in respect of their parenting.
- If you must make peace with the other parent
Applies to married people, if you live with the kid, it’s best if you are on speaking terms with the other parent so that they are able to visit the child anytime that’s applicable and attend important events in the kids life like graduations, birthday parties etc.
On a serious note, date people with kids at your own risk lol but they are nice humans and babies are precious too!!
Aida is the loml, my best friend, sister and my second parent. A beautiful creature that was brought to this earth to make me sane.
Follow her on Twitter: @MsAidaMk