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We were happy

Living from the hip of town

Wearing the finest of clothes

Our smiles so bright

As I skip walked

With my hands held by my mommy and daddy

Happiness lived in us

I believed in love

The love I saw my parents share

Emanating from their eyes

The tiny kisses they shared when they thought I wasn’t staring

Made me want that when I was older

See, they were the ying to each other’s yang

And I was the fruit they made from their love

But one cold night

The house went silent

Tiny sobs

His drunk figure supported by the wall

Tear marks on his cheeks

They had said mommy had gone to heaven

That she was now my guardian angel

Days passed

And I tried

To make daddy happy

See a smile on his face again

See love in his eyes

But they had gone cold

He had died while still leaving

A shadow breathing

Surviving on the beer he was drinking,

Every day

One night

He staggered through the house

Kept mentioning mommy’s name

When I tried to help him walk

He smiled weirdly

Called me “His Rosie”

Said I was back for him

So, while I back away from him

He drew closer, walking like a lion hunting his prey

He backed me up till I had nowhere else to go

I remember feeling a sharp pain

I remember seeing blood

I remember looking in his eyes but not seeing my father

I remember my silent tears

I remember my eyes shutting

I remembered my mother

Every night after

He would walk in the house

Smelling of cheap alcohol and cigarettes

Draped in clothes last washed by her

Every night, he would open my cage

Throw me on the bed

Have his way with me

Then leave satisfied

Every day, I crouched on the corner

The tears had long dried

My soul had crumbled

I would see my mother’s face

Anger would boil in my throat

She should never have left me alone

Each day, I remembered a song I once heard on the radio

I sang it in broken wisps

“Daddy don’t touch me there,

I’m gonna tell on you one day, I swear

Can’t you see I’m scared

You’re supposed to be my father”

On the 5th of June

I waited for the night to be over

He waltzed in

Forced himself in me, it was rough

Her death day, he remembered

Then he looked closely at me

He remembered me

He fell down

His actions dawning on him

He ran out

I removed my blade

Cutting my skin in beautiful flowers

Wanting to see my blood so I could feel alive

Then I cut a vein

Saw a light

Saw my mother

she was weeping

But I was smiling

Happy to have finally escaped the cage called

“My life


This poem was first published on Wine & Roses

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